Adventure Time

Dated: October 12 2015

Views: 697

Sometimes I wonder if my husband had any idea what he was getting into when he proposed.


I am, at heart, an adventurer.  I want to explore strange, new worlds; to seek out new life and new civilizations; to boldly go where no man has gone before.  The irony is, I'm also a big, fat chicken.  I'm terrified of falling off things (I see it as a refinement of a fear of heights).  The thought of seeing a live snake, even in a terrarium at Petco, makes me queasy.  When I'm out in nature, I'm constantly looking over my shoulder, convinced that a mountain lion is assessing my kill-ability.  And let's not even discuss what would happen if some sort of bug accidentally found itself anywhere on my body.


So, I make these lists of things I want to accomplish every year. At least 75% of them are things that are, well, "stretch goals."  


Here are some things that have made my list over the past few years:


1.  Touch a snake

2.  Go camping overnight at least 3 times

3.  Hike the Pacific Crest Trail (that one came up after I read "Wild")

4.  Run a marathon


I have done none of these.  Will I ever?  probably.  The greater Spokane area is a mecca for campers - trail runners - marathon runners - outdoorsmen of all variety.  I have an uneasy feeling that the "snake" goal could also be pretty easily met during the next few weeks, if I put my mind to it and went out on the Centennial Trail when it's warm.  I spend a fair portion of my time either contemplating adventures, planning adventures, or packing up the car for an adventure.  


This is where Mr. Thorson comes in.


My husband, a wonderful man, has this delusional idea that "down time" means "resting."  He wants to work hard during the week, and relax when football comes on.  What he doesn't realize is, relaxation time is prime adventure time.  


The following is an example of what happens at my house at least twice a week, for the past 2 years.


Me:  What are you doing?

Kevin:  Playing a game.

Me:  (staring)

Kevin:  Did you need something?

Me:  No, just wondering if we were going to do anything today.

Kevin:  (continues playing while casting sideways glances at me)

Me:  SIGH.

Kevin:  (pauses game) Do you want to go do something?

Me:  No, not if you don't want to.  

Kevin:  We have to go have an adventure now, don't we.

Me:  Well, if you don't have anything else you want to do, there's this thing going on downtown, "Attack of the Sasquatch," an interactive exhibit which tracks the sighting and movements of Sasquatch, and you can dress up like Sasquatch and get your picture taken, and then you go down on the Centennial Trail and run around dressed like Sasquatch, and then...."

At that point, I tell my husband absolutely everything I know about Sasquatch, which is actually quite a lot, because I've been voraciously reading everything I could find about Sasquatch since I found out about "Attack of the Sasquatch" on spokane7.com 4 days ago.  In the mean time, he's resigned to turning his game off, is putting his shoes on, and - guess what - it's ADVENTURE TIME!


He also knows my limitations, and how to put on the brakes, as the situation dictates.  The following scene also goes down at my place, at least twice per week, for the past two years:



Me:  What are you doing?

Kevin:  Watching TV.

Me:  No, just wondering if we were going to do anything today.

Kevin:  (continues watching while casting sideways glances at me)

Kevin:  (pauses TV show) Do you want to go do something?

Me:  No, not if you don't want to.  

Me:  Well, I watched this documentary about ultra trail running, and I think we should try it.  There's a 50-mile run next month in Arizona, and if we start training today, we can do this.

Kevin:  So, you want to go spend thousands of dollars at REI and Fleet Feet, then spend the next 3 days running around our neighborhood, before you announce that it's too cold outside to run, and it makes your ears hurt, and there might be snakes in Arizona, and then you'll need to go to an Orthopedic doctor because you've messed up your knee, and what we'll end up with is a garage full of brand-new hydration vests and cases of granola bars that you don't like, and you'll be in a knee brace for the next 5 months.

Me:  That's not how it went in the movie.

Kevin:  Instead of running 50 miles in Arizona, how about we go to Boo Radley's and then get coffee at Atticus.

Me:  Awesome!

The moral of the story - sometimes an adventure can be small-scale.  Sometimes seeking out new life and new civilizations  should be saved for special occasions.  Sometimes we just need a Mr. Spock to reign in the Captain Kirk in us.  Kirk, after all, tended to run off and get into trouble when left to his own devices, now didn't he.


Post-script:  "Attack of the Sasquatch" is a fictional event, but I think it would be a really cool thing, if anyone reading this is a Renaissance thinker and has some time on their hands to pull it together.



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Matt Side

As an Owner/Sales Manager for Realty One Group Eclipse, I am committed to my brokers. If they have the desire and the commitment to learn, I have the passion and the expertise to work with them to giv....

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